Friday, September 22, 2006

beda fight!

YES! PANALO BEDA!! yihee.. haha.
okay!! sana yung wncaa naman. hahaha.

okay... let's talk about my day. haha.

nagpa injection ako.. feeling ko nun, wala lang.. parang kagat ng langgam eh.
tas a few moments later, nanghina yung left muscle ko dahil dun. grabe. hanggang ngayon. pano kaya makakapag laro bukas.. f.....

anyway, it was PA time.. and my usual "kumukulo na ang dugo" moments. hahaha. WALA KASI GUMAGAWA EH. AKO LANG. ang gago talaga. hahaha.

whew.. then i was off to my locker to get my stuff when suddenly..
two freshmen boys were fighting. nagka pikunan kasi.
tas nag suntukan. kala mo kung cno eh. then they were at our place pa naman.
ayan tuloy, nadamay ako.
i have a wound on my knee. mga tanga tlga, dba? haha.

so ngayon, ang masakit sakin, right and left arm muscle tas yung tuhod. hahahaha.
Zobel pa naman bukas. badtrip. tsk. haha.

then we're going karting on sunday. hahaha.
im getting tired. no. my arm is. hahaha.

oeoeoeehhh..

it hate it when we cook.
haha.

i was given the task to separate the egg yolk from the egg white. it's really hard, you know. haha.
I failed to do it. hahaha.

anyway, it's the usual hectic damn PA. and it affected all my subjects.
and when it affects all my subjects, i lose things.

I lost my black bracelet. it was a big deal for me even if it was just 40 bucks. haha.
adik ako sa mga ganun eh. and it's my second time losing a bracelet. haha.
and i just get addicted joining activities that have no value. haha.

pero yung mga may value, mahina ako dun. i don't join that much. haha.

And I got the "leave me alone" feeling.
Whenever someone would ask me something or ask something from me,
i'd talk to them in an irritated way. hahahaha.
EH ANG GULO EH. HECTIC KASI. hahaha.

okay.. okay.. i wish i had better classmates. hahaha.

tska kailangan ko din bumawi sa math. hahaha.
mababa sa LT1 eh. hahaha.

hehe..

I've been involved in charity/donation whatevers. hahaha.
No. actually, my family is. haha. I've signed for the La Mesa Dam, giving donations for the oil spill.. Mom volunteered for making an advertisment for the dam, my sis joined forces with her roommate to save La Mesa Dam.. Si Dad, ewan ko. hahaha. umm, he's doing a show for Toyota's i-don't-know-what-you-call-it. basta. it helps us din. haha.

bsta.. it's kinda fun. being all hectic but in the end you'd feel good about saving the world..
\m/

oh yes... i wanna become.. i dunno. haha

and your point is..?

it's my 13th year of living and i still don't see anything right.
uhhh.. ewan. haha.

Today, you people can say that I have been smiling..
But I swear I have been holding that fake smile the whole day.
And I've been holding back those tears since this morning.
I feel so empty and I don't even know why.
And things get worse when nobody can understand you.

It's like there's one more thing missing.
and having that thing would make you feel whole again.
I'm just not sure what it is.

when everything's there and that one thing is missing.
i don't know what it is.
is it the things or "you"? (yek. labo.)
(ikaw nanaman. kelan ka ba aalis sa utak ko? kailangan ko bang mamatay muna? tsk.)

madami pang kulang sa birthday ko. madami pa talaga.
pero ang lahat na yan, okay lang kahit wala.
isa lang naman ang importante sa lahat ng mga kulang na yan.
isa lang ang pinakamahalagang kulang.
(WTF. ANO YUN. ANG LABO.)
di ko lang alam kung ano yun.

dammit. ang liit ng problema, ang laki ng effect sakin.
nakakairita naman talaga kasi eh.
feeling ko yung, nasusuka ako..
ayaw mo nang kumain..
may gusto kang sabihin..
ang bigat ng feeling ng heart mo..
umiiyak ka nang walang luha..
konti nalang, sasabog na..
wala ka nang pag-asa sa buhay..
wala ka naman ding makukuha sa birthday mo..
feeling mo tinitipid ka..
gusto mo nang umiyak..
nahihirapan ka nang huminga..

basta. ang daming feeling, di na tayo matatapos nyan.

---
o cge na. open forum muna. haha.pero ako lang yung magsasalita. haha. weirdo.

i don't know what i need right now. ako na nga yung gumawa ng act of kindness sa inyo pero wala man lang kayong ibinalik na kahit simpleng bagay na pwedeng gawin..

ganun pala pag may birthday.

pero don't get me wrong. ayus lang kung wala kayong binigay or something. but it would be better naman if you'd show a little sign of gratitude. (naks. pucha.)

im not asking too much nor too little. just one thing. (putangina. wala namang nagbabasa nito eh. haha.)

wala naman akong gagawin sa buhay ko eh. natapos ko na lahat. tapos na dapat yung purpose ko dito sa mundo. bukas dpat wala na ko dito.

I'm so empty. I need to be complete.
I need Centrum. AMP.

my day has fake smiles and tears held back.
---
You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through

HAHAHAHAHA.
---

onga pala. it's the death anniversary of the legendary Jimi Hendrix. rock on. peace out.
Music is nothing without you.
all hail Hendrix.. hahahaha. thanks a bunch. haha.

oh yes..

I'm sick today.
Hahaha. Will I go to school tomorrow? hahaha.

I went to church today and I saw a lot of people from bene. haha.
ysa, her sis, the guy in yellow, and my teammate. haha.

wala lang. astig eh. hahaha.

uhh...
sickness is my bday gift. hahaha.
12 people have greeted and it's not yet my birthday. a few more hours. haha.

to lala girls: hahaha. may interview si Gio *ehem* sa Top Gear magazine. hahaha. wala lang. nakita ko tapos yung pic nya dun puro pimples. hahaha. amp. hahaha. *EHEM* haha. joke lang.

uh oh.

waaaahhh..
this will be the last day of my childhood.

WEH.
hahahaha.

eh totoo naman eh.
hindi na ako makakapag laro sa playground.
hahaha

i better make the most out of this.

i won't grow up. hahaha.

eto na, eto na, eto na, WAAAH!! haha.

INTRAMS...

hell yeah. astig.
cheering competition kanina. \m/
Seniors panalo. hahaha.
astig mga cheer nila eh.
"oooooooohhoh!"
nakatatak yun sa isip ko eh. haha.
pero ginaya nila yung sa la salle. hahaha.

pero sa cheering ng freshies, medyo okay na..
nakaka rush parin ng adrenaline. haha.

before all those happened, I arrived in school 6am for training. haha.
ANG SARAP MALIGO SA COMPLEX. hahahahha.
pag dating namin sa gym, nandun na silang lahat. tas kami yung mga bagong ligo. hahaha.
TODO PAWIS. hahaha.

ayun...

nag game rin kanina, all stars..

at sinadya ko rin na iba ang kulay ng socks ko. yung isa grey, yung isa black.
pero nde nmn kita.
hidden socks yun. mababa kasi yung converse ko eh. hahaha.

ang dami kong ininom na tubig ngayun. ANG INIT KASI.

free time after lunch.. until 4pm. hehe..
i walked around, went back to grade school campus.. library.. hehe.
and I played soccer. nakikisawsaw kasi wala ako magawa. i folded my pants. Converse is the best! hahahaha.

ooooooohoh! animo la salle! hahahahaha.

tinatamad na ako. at may strained muscle pa ako. samamabits.
babay.

pprkut

the jackass is back. hahaha.

i got a cut. you can call it short but for a cut, it's long. haha.

why is the jackass back? haha.
I put alcohol on my friggin' cut. hahaha.
the alcohol was only a centimeter away from the cut and i felt the damn thing sting.

I ran around the house. hahaha. looking like a f-ing weirdo. hahahaha.
BUT that didn't stop me from doing the alcohol thing again. i did it again.. and again.. and again.. hahaha. then tears of joy. cool ryt? hahahaha.

then i have this checkered band-aid on my finger. hahaha.

OMG OMG OMG.
no. not really. haha.
LUKAS ROSSI IS SUPERNOVA'S NEW FRONTMAN.
Too bad.. Dilana was cool. In my opinion.
but Lukas was aryt.. skunk boy rossi. hahaha.
I <3 tommy lee. hahaha.

yes...

Hahaha.. it was a fun but hot day today..
And MTV Homecoming was held here. for the 2nd time.
We didn't even know about it. So we came home early leaving the concert.. too bad.
They should have told us. haha.

well anyway, Top Suzara was the guy.. i don't know him.. not even my friends know him. but he sounds familiar. haha.

but at least he's a bedan! haha.
and it's the second time MTV went to bene. haha.

right after our batch practice, we went to the gym where the concert started..
Pinksmyls (i think) was the first band to play. (it's a band from school)
then The Ambassadors. \m/
then i left the gym to go home. hahaha.

next concert i'll be watching in school will be NU 107. yeah! haha.
im so drained. i wanna eat dinner and sleep. not properly again, of course. haha.

bago bitawan ang lahat..

itong huling hirit. bago ko burahin ang mga alaalang kasama kita. AMP. haha.

let's start this before i change my mind.

wag kang manira ng puso. sira na yung siniraan mo. tsaka napunta sa wala yung oras ko para sayo. binalewala mo yun. mag-isip ka naman. ginago mo sarili mo eh. mahiya ka naman.

tska yung nililigawan mo ngayon.. UMAASA KA PA. hahaha. GURANG NA YUNG NILILIGAWAN MO. hahaha. Mukha pa syang gorilla. hahaha.

Di mo lang nakikita sa akin yung dapat mong makita. Hindi mo pa ako kilala.
Oo nga pala, bakit mo nga ba ako tinanong? Eh napunta pala sa wala yung ginawa ko?
Di ka pala marunong mag-isip. Kaya pala pang TAN G.A. yung pinupuntahan mo.
Hindi na naawa sayo yung iba. Kung may plano ka pang iba, gawin mo na ngayon. Bago mag iba isip nila. Mawawala lahat sayo.
Teka, wala na pala natira sayo. Yung natira lang pala yung utak mo at ang sarili mo na hindi marunong mag-isip. Magpakatino ka.

Wake up and smell the coffee, ---. If I were you, I would have given up years ago. If you only knew.. haay..

But it doesn't mean that I don't care for you anymore. I still do, honestly. I even miss everything.
If you only knew a different side of me, it would have been better. Nobody's perfect. But it doesn't mean that nobody can change. gets? (naguguluhan ako dito.) haha.

If there was one more try, it's when everything should be serious. No obstacles should get in the way. It's our last try for each other. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT.

"Even heroes have the right to bleed."

uhhh... hi?

i don't feel like blogging anymore. haha.
no. haha.
huh? labo. haha.

Since Sept. 10, I haven't eaten properly.
And slept early.
(no. wait. i really don't sleep early. hahaha.)

OKAY, MOVING ON. CHANGE THE F-ING TOPIC.
---
retreat.. just got home from retreat...

it was kinda sorta fun-ish. haha.
-ask me if i cried.
-did you cry?
-no. haha.

haha. it was kinda corny. there were only drops of tears.
oh no. is this my transformation?
into being manhid? hahaha.

uhh.. 10-11 or 11:30, I guarded the girls side of the place.
everybody sleeping.. while I was texting in the dark. haha.
Who was I texting? WHOEVER I COULD TEXT. haha.
I was even texting my roommates, the other girls in the rooms, etc. hahaha.
It was really dark and quiet.
I even took pictures. WALA LANG.
I was bored. hahahaha.
Tas tinatakot pa ako ng mga monks. Sabi nila, "hala.. hanggang 1am ka dito." haha.

I slept mga 12:30.. MY ROOMMATES SLEPT DAMN EARLY. 12 palang tulog na.
Hahahaha. mahirap din kasi kung hindi matulog kapag lights off eh.

onga pala, while I was alone outside, I got hungry. do you know what I did?
I knocked on a few of the doors and asked the people inside if they had food. haha.
That's karma for not eating a proper dinner. (Since Sept. 10. Remember?)
Hahahaha.. Tons of pics in my fone now.. I'm thinking if should post in multiply. TINATAMAD EH. haha.

uhh.. I'm tired and f....d up. i don't want to finish this anymore. haha.

214214214214214214214214.

you know...

you know that feeling...
when nothing's happening and you think about that person?
when you feel like everything's wrong but that person makes you feel happy?
when things remind you of that person and it makes you smile?
when you think your world goes 'round with that person in your mind?
when you feel free talking to that person?
when everything feels safe while talking to that person?
when feelings become a commitment?
when you feel things are becoming better because of the person?
when you have fun together?
when you spend time talking to each other the whole day?
when love creates a space in your heart?
when you never want to leave each other?
when you think nobody can replace that person?
when you think that person is the best thing that came your way?
when you think nothing can separate both of you?

I have that feeling.
And it's slowly fading.

Do you have the feeling that the person doesn't care anymore?

Do you still care?

yihee.... haha.

Waited by the phone all day. Thinkin' that you'd call but you never did. You are different from before. Now you made me insecure like you never did.

Tell me it's not over now, will you? So I won't be hangin' around.. And you won't see me crying..

..sounds familiar, right? haha.

21...2

I swear.
This is the weirdest day.
The whole day, I was silent.
Really silent.
All of my thoughts were jumbled up in my mind..

Yesterday, it was the same thing.
I taped my finger which was 'popsicled'. haha
I found it..... nice.

I counted my problems...
they were 102.
I wrote them on a piece of paper. Then I burned it. haha.

This morning, while I was in school, it was really weird for me.
I was crying while I was laughing! i swear.
Sinasabunutan kasi nila ako. (long story. basta.)
pero as a joke lang.
But they weren't sensitive enough to make them realize I was crying na.
But while I was crying, i was laughing. Weird, right?

tapos nung umiiyak na talaga ako,
sabi ko, "****** ina nyo talaga." sabay iyak. SOBRANG SAKIT.
hahaha. I was laughing kasi I found it funny. I find laughter in pain.

Tapos nung PA, naging manhid ako.
'Someone' was singing for me in front of the class.
I was just drawing in my notebook while he was singing.
Sorry. Ako yung tao na hindi marunong magpakita ng feelings eh.

My friend and I 'fought' yesterday...
Today, dismissal time, okay na kami.
She even kissed me. Eww.
Hahahaha.

Two fears from today:
Kisses and letting my hair down.

From now on, I will be tying my hair. Always.
I can still feel the pain, you know. It really hurts.

so much to say ah. Hahaha.

SFAC vs. SBCA tomorrow!
easy as pie. hahaha.

supaahhh novaaahh

rockstar supernova
haha.

final five.
oh yeah.. \m/

there's so many people i like there. haha.

Dilana, LUKAS, Toby....
haha..

I <3 tommy lee. hahaha.

wala lang.

see you later, alligator.

aww.. haha.
bye Steve Irwin..

wala nang maghuhunt ng crocodile na maganda.
:(

no more funny accent.

... naalala ko si gio nung zambales. haha.

babay steve irwin..
:(
hehe..

he died because of the tail of the stingray..
yikes.

"crikey."
awww...

tagal na.. SEPT. 7!!!

Hahaha.
7 ngayon... oh yes... haha.

okay.. whatever.. haha.

I hate school.
No matter how fun it is, I still hate it.
When I want to recite, that's when they don't call me.
hahaha.

okaaaay...
Another thing, when I'm blogging, I forget what I'm supposed to say. hahahaha.

>.<

I'm lying to myself and this dagger's my excuse....

hahahaha.

I lost my smile. Can you help me get it back?

hahahaha.

I may not give you the sky for yours to keep but I swear I'll be the best you've ever had.

hahahaha.

I need to laugh.
Hahahahaha....

Wait, I need to buy a card.
I need it for our monthsary.

WEH. UMASA PA KO. :))
NANIWALA NAMAN KAYO. hahahaha.

halina't sumama.

Whahaha. what a title. hahaha.
gusto ko mag-endorse ngayon.
Kasi astig sila.

--
Team Manila Graphic Design Studio
http://www.teammanila.com
Punta kayo sa Rockwell. May store sila dun. 2nd floor ha. Haha.
Astig talaga sila. hahaha.
They're all clothes, bags, etc..
My Dad's cousin is part of this thing.. kaya dapat pumunta kayo. hahaha.
Basta.. It's cool.

You can go to http://www.teammanilalifestyle.com to see the designs.
IT'S COOL. Hell yeah. Hahaha.
Pambansang tshirt natin 'to. haha.

the room number post.

Hahahaha.. whatever... hahaha..

This day.... is..... weird. hahaha.

anyway, we got our report cards...

nasa top 5 ako..
i don't care.
basta lang makapasa ako ng HS.

Hahaha. joke lang. hahaha..

Ayaw talaga gumaling yung daliri ko.

wtf.....
oh.. We're playing against MC tomorrow.

Hahaha.
they have the height advantage. Hahaha.